This is Milk For Tea

This is Milk For Tea

Daniel said to me recently ‘Too many people are focused on the destination over enjoying the journey’. It’s a powerful statement, and should really be acknowledged.

We are now at this point, after 20 months of hard-work, determination and persistence for the re-launch. Milk for Tea now takes a very different form in appearance and in the services offered. Daniel’s statement above resonates deeply with the time we have spent redefining what we want MFT to be. We haven’t rushed anything. Dr Stephen Simpson, our success coach said to us ‘everything that happens is down to synchronicity and luck’. It’s true, we have had our fair share of luck; however, the creative flow has occurred naturally and in the right time and space, with a lot of man hours being put into it. Both of us have grown as individuals and business partners; with a direct impact on the Company’s growth and identity.

The mission is still the same: ‘To combat male suicide – the leading cause of death in men under the age of 45 in the UK’. It is a statistic that we are truly saddened by. Through the workshops, one-to-one coaching sessions and community work we have cultivated, we truly believe that the promotion of men’s well-being and personal development will be at the forefront of society’s agenda very soon. Our first Workshop Series, Modern Masculinity launches in June both in Bristol and London. This eight workshop series will take participants on a journey to help redefine the way we view men’s worth, purpose and value, to enable the male community to thrive in all aspects of life.

Support is one of those things that money cannot buy. We are privileged and extremely grateful for the love and support that has been shown to us, both individually and as a Company throughout this journey. To be around people that not only help you to grow, but that also want to see you succeed is truly important in stimulating the culture in any business. The mission is not a small one. We understand that we cannot do it on our own. Thank you to those who are already part of our growing community and we are hugely excited to see this growth continue.

Iron sharpens iron!

This is Milk For Tea

BBC Radio Bristol Interview

BBC Radio Bristol Interview

The MFT team were interviewed by John Darvell on BBC Radio Bristol. Topics covered were ‘Masculinity’, ‘Identity’ and ‘What Milk for Tea’ is.

Be A Leader Not A Follower

Be A Leader Not A Follower

For years, I have battled with a demon that made me think I wasn’t good enough. I used to want to be other people; whether it be a celebrity such as David Beckham or your average Joe walking down the street in a fresh pair of kicks. This demon used to tell me I wasn’t cool enough, that I had to be a follower or a sheep, so I therefore attached myself to anything that was deemed ‘cool’ in society as a comfort blanket. It was tough. There were times where I felt I had no identity, that I was one of a number and that it was always going to be like this.
This doesn’t have to be the case.. The realisation had only come and found me fairly recently but its like bright sunshine on a cloudy day. A fundamental flaw often found in the male community is that we do not appreciate ourselves for being who we are. The world is hugely judgmental and crazed by following, that there is now a distinct lack of leaders out there. Be a leader. Dress how you want to dress. Act how you want to act. Talk how you want to talk. It’s OK not to be like anyone; in fact its more than OK, it’s excellent! As a male society that is being dealt huge blows by the rising figure of suicide in our community, it is time to lead from the front and talk about our issues. A campaign that skyrocketed recently was ‘itsOKtoTALK’, which provided useful insight into the effect social media can have across the world as this Hashtag caught on globally. Milk for Tea will be launching its first Campaign called #perfectlyhuMEN very soon. Please be a Leader and add your input into this movement to help combat Mental Illness.

Man On The Rise Thom Evans

Man On The Rise Thom Evans

MAN ON THE RISE : THOM EVANS

Its a typical grey and overcast afternoon in London when I first meet Thom Evans. We’re in a chic and quirky parlour room at Flemings Mayfair Hotel and all plans are running smoothly. Thom has been a busy man lately. The rugby player turned model has found good success in the fashion industry and is now ready to sink his teeth into acting.
Thom Evans is a special person, you get that impression from him almost immediately. He has “it”, the x factor that you can’t teach someone how to have. You speak to him and feel there’s a quiet but strong sense of self. As soon as our teas and coffees have been drunk I sit down to find out more about the new man on the rise.
Location: Flemings Mayfair

Photographer: Buki Koshoni

Co-Producer/Set Manager: Chiedza Sowah

Stylist: Jack Norman

Wardrobe: Oliver Sweeney

Hair/Makeup: Magdalena Mutungi

 


DE: For those who don’t know, where are you from and what was your upbringing like?

TE: I was born in Zimbabwe, my parents live in Portugal, I went to school in England and played for Scotland so it was a crazy mix (laughs)

DE: How was it growing up playing rugby?

TE: It was interesting, I started much later than most other players but I loved it. There’s such a freedom in the game. I’ve always been fast and being able to use my speed in a sport like rugby was amazing.

DE: How did you first get into the sport (rugby)?

TE: My dad played a bit of rugby league which is slightly different but the same element and my mom was a sprinter from South Africa so luckily I had decent genes as a starting platform.

DE: What were the biggest differences between amateur rugby and professional rugby. Were there any challenges making that transition?

TE: The biggest difference between the armature and the professional game for me was the discipline. Like every other guy I like to go out on the weekends and enjoy myself but if you really want to succeed on the professional level you have to make sacrifices and I think that goes for every sport. When I made the transition (to professional rugby) the going out had to stop.

DE: Would you say sacrifice is a necessary requirement to accomplishing your goals and living your dreams?

TE: Definitely, if you want to make it to the top you have to make sacrifices. I found it hard when my friends were away on holiday and I was at training camps but at the end of the day I wanted to be the best and I felt that particular sacrifice was needed to attain that.

 

Definitely, if you want to make it to the top you have to make sacrifices. I found it hard when my friends were away on holiday and I was at training camps but at the end of the day I wanted to be the best and I felt that particular sacrifice was needed to attain that.
 

DE: As a rugby player, what were the highlights for you?

TE: Playing for Scotland for the first time with my brother Max was definitely one of them. Obviously representing your country is an amazing thing in itself but having the opportunity to do that with my brother who I’m very close with was the icing on the cake.

DE: I take it your heritage is Scottish?

TE: Yea, both sets of grandparents are Scottish so even though I have this crazy sort of upbringing Scotland are where my roots initially come from.

DE: What are some of the biggest lessons you learned from playing rugby or any sport in general?

TE: The biggest lesson I learned from rugby was, again, to be very disciplined. You can get away with a lot of things but if you haven’t done the training, if you haven’t put the dedication into what you eat, it makes a huge difference. I found that even the finest margins were the differences between playing for your country or just playing club rugby.

DE: You’ve been speaking quite a bit on sacrifice and discipline. In my opinion I feel that these are two things previous generations were really able to master. I sometimes look at our generation and think that we’re not always prepared to commit to doing the things we say we’re going to do. What are your thoughts on that?

TE: That’s an interesting point. I think the use of social media, which when I was back playing rugby was non-existent, can be a distraction. I see with a lot of youngsters these days, they’ll finish training and head straight right back to their phones. Its obviously the way times are moving and you can’t fault that but I feel that without that distraction it was a lot easier to really focus on the goal itself.

DE: In 2010, you suffered from a life changing injury. What was that moment like for you?

TE: I was playing against Wales in the Six Nations, it was a huge game. We started really well, we were up 15-0. I got an accidental elbow to my lip which I quickly got stitched up off field. As soon as I got back on the field I was given the ball, ran through the first line of defense but kind of ducked my head to protect my lip and in doing so ended up paralyzed from the waist down after being hit. I knew straight away there was something severely wrong. Fortunately the medical team they have on stand by for such a high profile game was impeccable and I’ve made a full recovery.

DE: I watched a clip of the game you were injured in and the hit you took looked intense. I watched it and thought to myself “I really wouldn’t want to be in that situation”.

TE: Yea, the best way to describe it was like a power fuse going off in your body. I can honestly say I hope I never experience that ever again.

DE: Obviously rugby was your passion at one time. When you got inured and realised you could no longer play what was that time in your life like for you?

TE: Its really hard when you work your whole life to get somewhere and then one day its just taken from you. But as hard as it was to come to terms that I would never play rugby again I was overwhelming grateful that I could still walk and continue to live life to the fullest. So in many ways the disapointment of not being able to play was overshadowed by the fact that I could go out there into the world and live a very happy life.

DE: How did you decide what the next career steps for you were going to be after your injury?

TE: Well, I spent the first six weeks just incredibly grateful that I would be able to walk again and then after that I was focused on what was next. Acting was always one of the things that I wanted to do if I wasn’t playing rugby and I had been approached to model during my athletic career but its hard to do that with all the black eyes you get (laughs). As soon as I was able to function again I started on the journey pursuing these two goals.

DE: I commend you for that. It can be very difficult to move on to other career possibilities when you’re known so well for doing something completely different. I think some men really struggle when their main profession is taken away from them. As men we sometimes wrap our identities so much in what we do for a living that when its taken away it can be hard to recognise who we are without it.

TE: Yea, definitely. It certainly wasn’t easy for me and I can see how some guys really struggle in this area. After my injury I did have people around me who were there to support me psychologically but looking back on it I probably should have gotten help earlier. There are so many mixed emotions and I can definitely see how this is problematic for other men even more so than it was for myself.

DE: What advice would you give to other men out there who have lost a dream, passion or even a job and are trying to find that next step?

TE: The best advice I could give is to find that other passion sooner rather than later because the more time you’re in that unknown territory it makes it that much harder. When you find a new passion your mind and body get submerged in it and it helps to take away the memory of what you’ve lost. I’m a big believer in not looking behind, just look forward.

DE: You’ve now transitioned from the world of sport into the fashion industry. How has it been going from one discipline to the next?

TE: The transition into the modelling world was a strange one for me. I was used to being beaten up on a field, covered in mud, there’s nothing really fancy about that. Now it’s lovely locations, being dressed up and not being beaten up. With all that being said I grew to enjoy it, who wouldn’t?

DE: What are some of your fashion related goals?

TE: To get the best possible campaigns that are suited to me. Growing up I used to idolise Mark Wahlberg when he did the Calvin Klein work. Brands like Armani that are sporty but still have that strong fashion element to them are appealing to me as well.

DE: Now, I’ve briefed myself on a few episodes of your time on Strictly Come Dancing. Its apparent that you’re a very creative and artistic person, is that something that’s always been in the background for you?

TE: Yea for sure. When I was younger I was a massive fan of Elvis Presley and Michael Jackson, I used to love watching their dance videos on MTV. I always liked to danced but I was never trained so Strictly was good for getting me out of my comfort zone and trying something completely different.

DE: Along with Strictly Come Dancing, this year you were on Celebrity Island With Bear Grylls. Needless to say it looked tough for you. Can you explain what that experience was like?

TE: It wasn’t just tough, it was horrible (laughs). Again, it was about putting myself outside of my comfort zone. I feel that’s where you really live and grow. But Bear Grylls was really tough for me because I love to eat, I love my food and we just didn’t catch any. In short I just crumbled away.

DE: So now you’ve been on two (UK) national shows and the modelling is going very well for you. Career wise, what are you trying to achieve?

TE: Doing Strictly and Bear Grylls were great respectively but acting is what I really want to do. I’ve been trying to take any workshops that I can in the States and in the UK. I’ve learned a lot and I’m trying to better my craft in any way that I can. I recognise that I’ve come into the game late but I’m really passionate to succeed. It’s the same principle as rugby, what you put into it is what you get back. I’m hungry for it.

DE: What would be your ideal role?

TE: Something in a period drama, I love Downtown Abbey and Pride and Prejudice but it would probably be Mr. Darcey if I had to choose any of them.

DE: With all that you’re doing its evident that your celebrity profile has risen since your days of playing rugby. What challenges, if any, are you experiencing of having your life being a lot more public?

TE: It doesn’t really affect me too much. The only annoying this is being linked to women who I’ve never met before. I’m a single man and I read some stories and they’re just completely untrue. Apart from that its been relatively smooth.

DE: Is there any pressure you feel to perform in either acting or modelling?

TE: Not so much, I’m really enjoying the space I’m in. With acting, its very up and down, you have no idea whether you’re going to land a role or not but I like that. Its more reason for me to stay disciplined.

DE: In regards to handling pressure, at the moment suicide is currently the number one leading cause of death for men under 50 in the UK. We’re both British men, what do you feel may be some contributing factors to this staggering statistic?

TE: Yea I’m quite aware of this statistic. I think as men we’re not always great at opening up and showing our emotions, in some ways its a pride issue. In my experience when some guys are struggling in their lives you don’t even know. I think there needs to be a system that encourages men to express themselves and seek help.

 

Yea I’m quite aware of this statistic. I think as men we’re not always great at opening up and showing our emotions, in some ways its a pride issue. In my experience when some guys are struggling in their lives you don’t even know. I think there needs to be a system that encourages men to express themselves and seek help.
 

DE: How important do you think confidence is in your profession?

TE: I think confidence is important in every aspect of life. I meet some guys who have so much going for themselves but still don’t believe in themselves.

DE: Who do you reach out to when you need advice or good counsel?

TE: My brother. We’re very similar in a lot of ways, sometimes he can see things that I can’t. I’m proud to admit that I’ve had a few wars that I’ve come across in my life, times that I’ve gotten really down in regards to my accident and low self-esteem. Having that person you can go to at any time makes such a huge difference, not many people have that and I really feel for them.

DE: How do you want to be remembered?

TE: As caring and someone who was fun to be around, honest as well.

DE: If you could have dinner with three people, dead or alive, who would you invite?

TE: Ah that’s a tough one! Muhammad Ali would be one, I met him when I was young. Conor McGregor and Mark Wahlberg.

DE: Whats one of the most important things you’ve learned about life so far?

TE: Appreciate life. I’m like most guys, sometimes I can feel down about small and insignificant things but if you have your health that’s what I believe truly matters. One thing I learned from being in a hospital bed for six months is to live every day as it comes and really enjoy it. There were people in that hospital room who weren’t as fortunate as me. Appreciate life because it can be taken away at any time.

Thanks to Flemings Mayfair for their hospitality during our shoot.

See the article on The Review Magazine.

The Power of Pain

The Power of Pain

The older we get the more important learning how to deal with adversity becomes. Especially in this time when so many of us are pursuing what we love to do, it seems important that we understand and learn how to cope with the challenges that come with believing in our dreams.

As people it benefits us to understand that pain can not only be helpful but necessary. So whether we’re working a daunting 9-5 job to the pay the bills and finance our passion or just experiencing an unprecedented amount of challenges, it’s valuable to remember that everything is working together for our good and that every difficulty has been placed in our lives to nurture the greatness that’s inside of us. But in order to gain from this notion we have to believe it. Our outlook and perception greatly determine how we go about dealing with the situations we encounter.

I’m an avid runner, have been for about thirteen years now. Often times when I’m out for a run and approach a big hill I mentally prepare myself for the increased level of difficulty that’s ahead. The higher up the hill I go the more discomfort I begin to feel. At this point my body wants to back off, it’s human nature to want to ease away from the pain. But because I know this pain is actually me getting stronger, getting better, becoming more equipped; instead of backing off I challenge myself to work harder, pump my arms faster and lift my legs higher. Even though this is a time of pain this is also a prime opportunity to excel. I’ve grown to realise that there are exceptional amounts of growth that can only be made in times of challenge and discomfort and because of this, how I perceive pain has changed. Now when I see a hill I view it as the perfect time to propel me forward. I realised that pain can be essential, substantial and progressive. When we change our mentality to pain we’re able to capitalise on its power.

In the times we live in it seems increasingly important that we don’t just learn to survive but that we encourage each other to thrive; mediocrity, living for others and not pursuing what we love to do are all factors that hinder us from living in our fullest potential. Personally, I believe it’s important to have faith and to take risks. As a collective of men I hope that we aim to do more and be more than we ever have before. This year in particular seems like a prime time to take hold of our dreams and turn them into our reality. Challenges are an unequivocal aspect of any meaningful pursuit but as the saying goes, “pain is temporary, greatness is forever”.

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